Chinese Hell (and other horrible oddities)

When I told Jane at breakfast we were going to an amusement park, I sincerely believed that to be the case. That’s how this place was described, an amusement park for Chinese history and myths. The pictures were colorful and reviews solid. The adventure unraveled from there. 

Backing up to the beginning of the day, we left our hotel after trying more novel breakfast foods.  I may have had my fill of novel breakfast foods today. 

Ready for departure

In yesterday’s shopping, Jane found Singopirean hot styling tools for her hair.  She’s fixed it Charlie’s Angels style knowing the lift would unfortunately fall a bit in Singaporean humidity.  We delighted in this version of her look all day, even sweaty during her dance class.

We started our day in Singapore’s crispy clean subway systems. Our local station has a vague but pleasant vanilla perfume, absent of the usual stench of marijuana and body odor found nearly everywhere in European and American subways. We appreciate the trash-free floors, clean enough bathrooms, and track barriers with doors, preventing accidental or malicious (looking at you NYC) falls onto the tracks. Clear floor signage tells you where to stand. We give the entire system top marks.

Part of the cleanliness is attributable to the nationwide ban on chewing gum and the prohibition of eating or drinking on the train.

The prohibition on eating and drinking is sensible, but the ban on Durian fruit in the subway made us laugh. Durian fruit is in everything here, from meals to cakes. Don’t know how one gets a durian home. 

Arriving at the colorfully decorated Haw Par Villa park “amusement park”, we immediately notice the lack of entrance fee or roller coasters. Built in 1937 and gifted to the city by the founder of Tiger Balm products, the park was a colorful landscape of statues depicting Chinese history amongst old growth trees and plants. Browsing around, we headed for its featured attraction, the Hell Museum.  This museum gets outstanding reviews and is frequently awarded Trip Advisor travel awards in Singapore. The museum is literally about Chinese Hell. 

The friendly staff unfurled all of the hell related puns they had, welcoming us with phrases like, “Here’s your ticket, now go to hell.”  They correctly calculated we were the right audience. 

The museum opens with a summary of world religions, comparing notions of time (circular with reincarnation or linear with a final destination after death). There was a section on the history of burials in Singapore and a full scale demonstration of a funeral and cemetery. I personally thought that was more than I needed to know about the handling of the dead, but turns out this part was tame compared to what lied ahead. 

After completing the modern part of the museum, we exited the back to what is apparently a recreation of the hyper-specific Chinese view of the Ten Courts of Hell and the Tem Kings that preside over them. 

Thanks Google AI for this tidy summary which saves me typing:

“The "Ten Courts of Hell" (or Ten Kings of Hell) in Chinese mythology represent a system of courts where souls are judged for their deeds in life before being reborn, according to Buddhism and Chinese folk religion. These courts, each presided over by a king, offer a visual representation of the afterlife and the consequences of one's actions.”

The gateway to Hell:

Each court of hell has very specific punishments and timelines for specific infractions, like misusing books or disobeying siblings and throwing into a blood pool or ground under a stone. Simultaneously repulsed at the graphicness and bewildered with the outdated specificity of Chinese hell, we departed the park in search of a palate cleanser.

Lucky for us Chinatown was only minutes away. We bought bubbble tea, enjoyed the architecture, and went to the Chinatown Heritage museum. The museum depicted the development of ans life in Chinatown by recreating the working and living spaces in the tenements. I was shocked at how much we learned in such a small amount of time. Now THIS was a well-done museum, and we left a 5-star review. 

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This Singaporean style fresh beef jerky wa being made and sold everywhere. Though it looks delicious, it tastes even 10 times better. Soft but flame broiled, it comes in a variety of meats and flavors. We tried garlic pork and we’re won over. 

We had a quick lunch in Chinatown. The menus were filled with proteins like turtle, intestine, pig face, and gizzards. We navigated through and selected beef and peppers with a side of cabbage. Now I’m no travel blogger, I’m just faking it here. So excuse the pictures which don’t give this food justice. Despite the peppers turning out to be celery, my least favorite veggie, that beef dish was outta this world. The cabbage even better. Worth it. 

Before leaving Chinatown, we passed stalls of Fresh Durian fruits. Stacks of both uncut and cut durians sealed in plastic trays devastated areas of the market with the smell of rotting flesh. I couldn’t even take a picture, and we had to hustle through. Apparently Jane knew about the durian smell but this was a surprise to me. I finally understood why they were banned on trains. 

Jane expertly navigated us to a suburb on the northwest side of the island to her first dance class. After negotiations all week, they’ve agreed to let her dance this summer in Hip Hop and K-Pop classes. She was nervous about her first class, but there was no time for that. We expected to arrive at a suburban strip mall, but instead were thrust from the train into another 6-story Houston galleria sized mall (or 2 times galleria maybe? We couldn’t possibly explore it all).  There are no proper directions in maps for these places. Google just lays downs and quits on you. His directions told us to walk in several circles and then arrive. Like an episode of the great race, we jokingly navigated halls and courtyards of shops, restaurants and services until we arrived at the academy… on time. 

Jane was put into the intro class level, but wow is this no intro. I think she nailed it for her very first time!  The other dancers were in no way new to this. The instructions went fast and she thinks there is a lot of great opportunity to learn here. We signed her up for the entire duration. Here she is learning the new routine. 

Jane was a sweaty hot mess after class, so we hung around this giant mall for a cool down. This mall housed an entirely different set of activities from our downtown mall-scape, catered instead to families with kids instead of urban office workers.  The mall offered lots of lessons (the ballet school was next door) and experiences. It was packed with families on weekend adventures, an all-inclusive one-stop for shopping, entertainment and dining. 

Jane found a craft place and wanted to make a makeup mirror for her new Michigan bedroom. We had an absolute blast making this!!!  

Hairstyle still holding up!

After we cooled off crafting, we explored the complex. Jane will be here 3 times weekly for dance and it will be her stop after school before going to her home nearby. We orienteered to the grocery stores, tea places, and exits. I was nervous about Jane figuring out the ride share system in Singapore, as she will need it to get to her nearby but not walkable home after class.  We went to the outdoor pickup hub where hailed taxis and ride shares were picking up folks every five seconds. Young girls were rotating in and out of cars alone, but when I saw a five year old in a child’s ballet uniform hop in alone into her ride share and zip away, I remembered Singapore is the safest possible country and how Jane would be fine. The Singaporean ride share app has a lot of extra safety features built in, and kids often use them.

Some mall oddities:

Chinese shrine Lego kits

Pre-filled baby bottles

God batteries are expensive here

Long John’s are everywhere here, along with McDonalds, Burger King, and Subway. 

The mall had massive playscapes for children, spanning between indoors and outdoors. A train drove kids around the mall, and they had giant motorized ride-on horses that kids were driving or racing through crowds. 

Nope, no idea what this guy is reading. Maybe “Werk is fun”?

A note about language. All signs in Singapore had been in English. Private pay English schools abound. The educated certainly speak English but sound like second language learners. Can drivers and cashiers apparently read English but struggle to speak it. When we moved out to this area, now Chinese became entirely prevalent. None of the signs in the grocery store were in English. Everything was in Chinese. When I asked about batteries to the English speaking manager of the electronics store, she couldn’t understand me. I had to show her a picture. So while there is English, folks here are much more comfortable speaking Mandarin, with Cantonese being the lingua Franca in Chinatown. Jane will do well to practice mandarin everywhere, despite our initial concerns about English prevalence. She says she will pretend to not speak English so folks don’t switch over. We decided she looked German or Spanish enough for that to be believable. O if

After riding out to Jane’s new house, we practiced taking the train in. Jane received highest marks for subway navigation, and I deeply enjoyed just following her blindly.  

Embarrassingly, I couldn’t stay awake when we got back to our room. After taking to Joel, we fell straight asleep and skipped dinner.  Tomorrow is another big day!